Dealing with a Pandemic During the Holiday Season

For many, these past few months have been immensely difficult. The struggle of isolation and anxiety surrounding a pandemic may be exacerbated by additional stressors, including but not limited to mental health issues, relational discord, and financial insecurity.

While some have grown accustomed to this new way of life, the holiday season may hold a new set of challenges (see the end of this article for additional resources on Suicide Prevention and support for LGBTQ+ folks).

The pandemic invites us to be creative in order to find connection. Zoom calls have replaced in-person gatherings in many instances, and officials have warned against large gatherings, leading many to forego the usual family holiday celebrations.

Though we may be fortunate to have the technology that allows us to connect, for some it is a painful reminder of the uncertainty of our times, and one that can leave us bereft of the intimacy that often accompanies in-person gatherings.

In preparation for the holidays, let's discuss some ways to find some ease during these challenging times.

Coing Mechanisms

It can be difficult to call on the things that we know to be helpful for us during times of immense stress. Whether this means implementing breathing techniques when anxiety becomes heightened, challenging negative thoughts, or finding ways to relax after a stressful day, make time to take care of yourself. Some useful mindfulness and meditation apps include Oak, Insight Timer, and Calm. Additionally, see this article for some ideas on how to practice self-care on a daily basis.

Remember that health means something different to each person, so take time to check in on yourself and ask what helpful ways you can keep yourself in balance. Bingeing Netflix on the couch may feel restful sometimes; however, if this is all you’re doing, it might be helpful to move your body and get outside as well.   

Further, it's possible that what has worked in the past feels less helpful these days, so try to keep in mind that the stressors and pressures that you are facing are different than anything you’ve experienced before. The world as we know it has been turned upside down in so many ways, and it is crucial for us to extend grace to ourselves and our ability and capacity to survive these times.

You might find it helpful to recognize what emotion(s) are coming up for you, remind yourself that all of your feelings are valid, and then ask yourself how you can compassionately address those feelings. If you’re drinking more than usual, is this in an effort to cover up feelings of pain or discomfort? Perhaps there is another way you can soothe yourself, such as taking a bath with fragrant bubbles, cooking or baking a favorite dish, limiting news/social media time (maybe leaving your phone in another room if you are prone to mindlessly scrolling), or spending extra time with furry friends.

Connection

If you're unable to meet with family or friends in-person, yet sitting and staring at each others' faces on a screen feels impersonal and dull, ask yourself, “What new ways can we interact?” Perhaps this is the year to create a new tradition. Some ideas include: a long-distance Secret Santa (or other non-religious themed game), face-timing with a friend or family member while you both cook the same meal, or a creative endeavor (think music video mash-up, scavenger hunt, etc.) Finding new ways to connect and possibly have fun while doing so may lend itself to the possibility of connection when options have become limited. For specific ideas of new ways to connect, check out this article and this one. 

**Zoom will be lifting its 40-minute meeting limit for free accounts globally during the holiday season to help families around the world socialize and connect safely in the midst of the pandemic. The limits will be removed in recognition of Hanukkah, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and Kwanzaa.**

Meaning

Humans are unique in our ability to find meaning and purpose in our lives. We have attached a particular meaning to traditions, and while the way our lives look these days may differ, we can always return to the core meaning behind these traditions. This is where we get to ask ourselves, “What do we value? What is at the core of our beliefs?” Making a list of the values that are important to you and your family and how these values can be demonstrated during this time can be a helpful practice. 

Other questions to consider: How can we express our love for one another and humanity? What does the holiday season mean to you? What makes family or framily (chosen family/friends who feel like family) so special to you? Once this is all over, we may have an opportunity to reflect on how we might shift our values in our daily lives; for now, it’s important to do whatever feels helpful to get through this traumatic time.

This might be an opportunity to reflect on what traditions you continue to uphold, as well. Are you seeing certain people that contribute to your stress out of a sense of obligation, or does seeing them contribute to your sense of well-being? Does gift giving feel like a chore or are you feeling forced to spend money that you don’t have this year? Is there another way to show up for those you love? What love language other than gift giving or physical presence might you offer to your loved ones?

While this year has been difficult, traumatic, exhausting, and overwhelming for so many of us, we can trust that nothing lasts forever and that through the practice of self-awareness and care, as well as through creative ways of connection and love, we not only can make it, we will.

You are not alone. Please see a list of additional resources below if you are in crisis.