Hope within Heartbreak
Michelle DAvella is the founder of Pushing Beauty. Michelle is a breathwork coach and facilitator of The Desire Map. In this episode, Michelle discusses living in the world as someone who feels deeply, trying to use her mind to think through or push past her emotions, until she ultimately stopped hiding from her feelings- stepping out of shame and into her own power. She shares her recent heartbreak and how she has used self-care practices to fall in love with herself and live a life transformed valuing both her mind, her heart, and her intuition.
Edited from Michelle's website:
YOU CAN ONLY HIDE FOR SO LONG
Pieces started to fall around me. I was flailing in my career. Money wasn't flowing. I was picking fights with my boyfriend. I didn't like my living situation. Deep inside I felt this horrible feeling like I wasn't living the life I was here to live.
Looking back I can see a very clear path at that time in my life. Every aspect of my life was unfolding and pointing me onto that path. I began to pick up on it and started to move forward, and I met my greatest teacher: my own breath. I was lead to begin a Breathwork practice and since that day my life has never been the same.
At the time I remember thinking, "How the hell is breathing going to change my life?" Oh, but it did. It dramatically did. This breathing technique was not about relaxation. It was about healing. It was about opening my heart. It was about discovering myself. And that's what I did.
WHO I AM NOW
Writing about my past feels like another lifetime. And it kind of is. I'm now a Breathwork teacher, mentor, writer, and Desire Map facilitator. Every aspect of my life has transformed. But most importantly, now I love every ounce of me.
I can be seen by others without shrinking myself down. I don’t worry about what other people think about me. I don't worry about trying to do it all right because there is no such thing as a right way. I trust myself to make the choices that are best for my life, and I don’t spend my energy questioning myself afterward. I’ve developed a healthy balance between using my mind and my heart.
Don't let this lead you to believe that my life is pain-free. I went through a terrible heartbreak this year, but my growth has allowed me to learn tremendously from it. I worked on keeping my heart open. I took the time to heal, as long as it needed. I paid close attention to the wounds the pain was pointing to. I took deep care of myself, like I work to do every day.
I DON'T THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO LOOK DEEPLY INWARD, I THINK IT'S NECESSARY.
It's necessary if you want to relieve your anxiety, if you want to let go of your pain, if you want to accept yourself, if you want to feel any bit better than you do right now. Turning inward and walking straight through the pain you're hiding from is the only path to true happiness.
This path of looking inward is challenging because of the deep feelings we’ve suppressed and need to process. It’s challenging because the ego is hella strong and will do anything it can to dupe us into taking the easy route.
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling in the depths of darkness or you know you’re not living the life that is meant for you take a look at my offerings. This life is not an easy path, but I promise you that if you show up to do the work and if you face it all wholeheartedly, what is on the other side is so worth it.
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Topics Discussed in this Episode
- The meaning behind "Pushing Beauty"
- A culture of living in our minds and pushing away our feelings
- What happens when we decide to step into feeling
- Practices of self care that supported her healing
- Shame, guilt, and negative self talk
- Her first breathwork practice
- Empathy and being present with feelings
- Finding balance between the mind, intuition, and feeling
- Hope beyond heartbreak
- The value of community and importance of self-reliance
- Practices of core feelings for her day from The Desire Map
Michelle has an upcoming Breathwork + Heartwork with The Desire Map workshop coming up, here are some details if you are interested in learning more:
Breathwork + Heartwork with The Desire Map is a four-week virtual workshop where you'll release limiting beliefs and discover what you want most out of your life. Based on the best-selling book The Desire Map, we get straight to the heart of the matter: How you want to feel? At the end of this workshop, you will walk away with your Core Desired Feelings and use those to guide your life decisions in your career, your body, your creativity, your relationships, and your spirit.